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Chiya Guff

Unfiltered rants from the morning Chiya Pasal to the evening Bhatti.

95 articles

The Spanish Armada

The Spanish Armada

Spain won our hearts in 2010 with that mesmerizing, endless passing carousel. Fast forward 16 years, and they are on the verge of lifting the trophy again, but this time with Tiki-Taka 2.0. It’s still about control and building from the back, but with a terrifying addition: aggressive, direct penetration. It’s exactly how a Gorkhali handles a khukuri—you don't just swing it around to look pretty; you strike with absolute, lethal intent.

By S. Gundai 15 Jul 2026 4 min read
Judiciary Clearance Sale

Judiciary Clearance Sale

After decades of using the Fake Bhutanese Refugee scam as an excellent conversational icebreaker at family gatherings, the Kathmandu District Court has finally slammed down its gavel of absolute mercy. The elite ringmasters—Sanu Bhandari, Keshab Dulal, and Tek Narayan Pandey—were handed a grueling four years in the slammer, which coincidentally matches the exact time it takes to complete a thoroughly useless Bachelor’s degree in Nepal.

By S. Gundai 14 Jul 2026 4 min read
The Footpath Renaissance

The Footpath Renaissance

Footpath vendors have triumphantly recaptured their lost empires, carpeting the sidewalks with clothes and shoes, forcing pedestrians to bravely battle moving traffic on the main asphalt. It is a spectacular victory for free-market anarchy, proving that our collective "civic sense" is merely an illusion that evaporates the very second a uniform disappears from the street corner.

By S. Gundai 13 Jul 2026 4 min read
The Fantastic Four

The Fantastic Four

FIFA is set to make more money from this tournament than a small nation’s entire GDP. As true Gorkhalis, we respect the hustle of extraction, but watching Infantino count billions while we battle chronic insomnia really warms the cold, dark corners of the soul. It’s the top four-ranked teams left, and the zombie fest is reaching its glorious, exhausting climax.

By S. Gundai 12 Jul 2026 4 min read
The Great Asset Pause

The Great Asset Pause

Ayo Gorkhali! Sound the bugles, light the incense, and bury your gold bars in the backyard, because our grand national war against corruption has crashed face-first into its absolute favorite Nepalese milestone: a beautifully articulated legal intermission. Just as the high-level Property Investigation Commission was getting ready to pry open the heavy steel vaults of our nation's most "financially blessed" public servants, the Supreme Court swooped in like a majestic, protective older brother.

By S. Gundai 11 Jul 2026 4 min read
Blame Balen!

Blame Balen!

It is a tragedy beyond words when a young man sets himself on fire over a traffic violation. Absolutely heartbreaking. But what’s equally jaw-dropping is watching our vintage opposition wallahs and dinosaur media houses instantly salivating, blaring their horns like microbus drivers at Kalanki, demanding Prime Minister Balen’s immediate resignation.

By S. Gundai 10 Jul 2026 3 min read
The Audacity of Honesty

The Audacity of Honesty

Ayo Gorkhali! Brace yourselves, citizens, because the circus has officially come to town, and this time, the clowns are wearing expensive, unexplained Italian suits. The newly minted Property Inquiry Commission, captained by the honorable former Supreme Court Justice Rajendra Kumar Bhandari, has officially begun the daunting task of peeling back the layers of Nepal’s favorite national sport: competitive asset hiding.

By S. Gundai 9 Jul 2026 4 min read
Last Man Standing

Last Man Standing

The world watched in pure, unadulterated disbelief when Egypt took a 2-0 lead against the reigning World Champions. Up here in the hills of Asia, even though 90% of us wear fake Messi jerseys bought from Ranjana Galli, we suddenly started rooting for Egypt. Why? Because as Nepalis, we love an underdog story almost as much as we love free momo.

By S. Gundai 8 Jul 2026 4 min read
The 60-Year Itch

The 60-Year Itch

It is officially the diamond jubilee of our relationship with the Asian Development Bank (ADB)! To celebrate six decades of Nepal enthusiastically signing up for debt, ADB President Masato Kanda touched down in Kathmandu. He immediately sat down with Prime Minister Balendra (Balen) Shah to discuss "deepening bilateral cooperation," economic transformation, and job creation.

By S. Gundai 7 Jul 2026 5 min read
The Gates are Closed

The Gates are Closed

For decades, the holy trinity of Nepali politics—Oli, Prachanda, and Deuba—practiced a highly intimate form of international relations. Forget embassy halls or official state dining rooms; the real geopolitical heavy lifting happened right in their bedrooms, often while wearing comfortable lungis.

By S. Gundai 6 Jul 2026 4 min read
Cape Verde's Courage

Cape Verde's Courage

Let’s be honest: when the FIFA World Cup 2026 Round of 32 draw paired the defending world champions, Argentina, with Cape Verde, the only real question was whether Lionel Messi would score a hat-trick before or after halftime. Cape Verde—a tiny island nation with a population smaller than Kathmandu’s traffic jams—was supposed to be a polite footnote in Argentina's inevitable march to glory. 

By S. Gundai 5 Jul 2026 4 min read
The 250-Year-Old Miracle

The 250-Year-Old Miracle

The growth of the Nepali community in the United States is a stunning testament to what happens when Himalayan grit meets American opportunity. Today, the total legal diaspora stands at an impressive 240,000 to 264,000 individuals, heavily concentrated in vibrant hubs across Texas, Ohio, and New York. This includes more than 56,000 highly motivated permanent residents who built their foundations through the competitive Diversity Visa lottery, alongside approximately 7,000 hardworking individuals who found a vital, secure haven under Temporary Protected Status (TPS) following the 2015 earthquake.

By S. Gundai 4 Jul 2026 3 min read