The world watched in pure, unadulterated disbelief when Egypt took a 2-0 lead against the reigning World Champions. Up here in the hills of Asia, even though 90% of us wear fake Messi jerseys bought from Ranjana Galli, we suddenly started rooting for Egypt. Why? Because as Nepalis, we love an underdog story almost as much as we love free momo.
We were hoping they would walk away with the greatest upset in football history, channeling the pure chaotic energy of Roger Milla and his boys upsetting Argentina back in the day, or the Saudis causing collective heart attacks in the previous edition. For a second, Egypt looked like a Gorkhali platoon charging down a hill with nothing but vibes and a dream.
The 'Buda' is Not Dead Yet, Guys
But then we remembered—Messi is the GOAT. Some of our local experts, currently analyzing the match from a tea shop bench, thought this was the absolute end of an era. With Ronaldo already out of the picture and Neymar announcing his retirement from international football after being violently shown the door by Norway (imagine getting knocked out by guys who eat salmon for breakfast), we were stressed. We genuinely thought the last man standing, the great Messi, was about to pack his bags and head to Miami for good.
A Comedy of Errors and Cardiac Arrests
Of course, in true dramatic fashion, Messi missed a penalty. Classic. If he hadn't flubbed his lines twice this tournament, his tally would have been 10 goals by halftime. But Argentina, much like a drunk uncle at a Nepali wedding, was completely unbothered by the 0-2 deficit. They staged one of the greatest comebacks in recent history, scoring three goals in the final 15 minutes. Messi made up for his sins with a clinical strike to make it 2-2, and then a beautiful header by Enzo ended Egypt's luck. Our hearts broke for Egypt, but our wallets survived.
Minnows with Big Teeth
Egypt, much like Cape Verde, has officially won the hearts and minds of football fans. The era of giant teams dominating the game by just showing up is officially dead. Even the so-called minnows have figured out how to park a bus with disciplined defense and hit back with lethal break-out offenses. It's beautiful, it's chaotic, and it gives us hope that maybe, just maybe, size doesn’t matter.
The Quarter-Final Khichdi
With Switzerland edging out Colombia, the quarter-final layout is officially locked. The host nations are all out, which is hilarious but sad. Now, France faces Morocco, Spain tackles Belgium, Norway takes on England, and Argentina gets a supposedly "easy" draw against Switzerland. Honestly, looking at these matchups, every single game is probably going to end in a draw at full time and head straight for the emotional torture of extra time and penalty shootouts.
No Trophy for the TikTok Kings
Messi remains the absolute last man standing among the Buda players. Look, Cristiano Ronaldo could have won the World Cup if he had legally changed his nationality and played for Brazil alongside Neymar, maybe. But alas, both will remain legendary players with an empty space in their closets where the coveted golden trophy should be. Messi is different; he plays like a god and creates like a magician. That’s why the whole world, from Buenos Aires to Boudha, loves him.
The 20-Year Plan for the Red Panda Platoon
Let’s be real. This World Cup has been the most exciting one since 1986. It makes us dream. Let’s hope that someday, when we finally hire a strict Japanese technical team in Nepal to train our 10-year-olds for a decade or two on a diet of dhido and discipline, we can finally dream of playing in the World Cup. Until we can give France a tactical scare, let's just sit back, drink our Tongba, and cheer. Personally, I’m hoping for a France vs Argentina repeat, but hey, a Norway vs Spain final would be pure comedy too.
Jai Nepal!