Unfiltered rants from the morning Chiya Pasal to the evening Bhatti.
95 articles
Bless our country Nepal, and bless our visionary middlemen! While the ordinary citizen stands in endless lines, sweating buckets just to get an e-passport from the Department of Passport, our patriotic agents are busy playing a completely different game behind the curtain.
Nepal’s stunning landscapes deserve a tourism economy that matches its majesty, yet our current open-door policy welcomes chaos over capital. Every day, our roads are overtaken by budget-strangling caravans that turn pristine destination spots into makeshift, open-air camps. We are systematically bleeding potential revenue because our regulatory frameworks allow visitors to consume our resources without leaving behind a single meaningful rupee.
After nearly two decades of watching the Prime Minister monopolize the microphone at Tundikhel every Jestha 15, the Cabinet suddenly looked at the Constitution, looked at the President, and thought, "Hey, isn't that person supposed to be the symbol of the Republic? Why are they just sitting there like an expensive living room decor?"
In this country, accountability is strictly allergic to air-conditioned VVIP hospital suites, and court cases move slower than a public bus climbing up the Prithvi Highway. So grab a cup of sweet chiya, sit back, and witness the legendary hall of shame where the republic is the product and our leaders are the master illusionists.
Welcome to the prison Republic of Nepal, where the prison has its own "Mayor"—the Chowkidaar—complete with naikeys and bhai naikeys managing a thriving internal economy. Forget rehabilitation; we have prime real estate. Inside, you will find bustling chiya pasals, canteens, grocery stores, and even a meat shop.
Naturally, in peak Nepali fashion, Amar did a political parkour—joined the Nepali Congress and started a newspaper. But before he could write the ultimate tell-all, our Maoist comrades fast-tracked his retirement with a bullet to the head because he forgot to pay his "People’s Tax." Talk about a killer subscription fee.
The mountain is piling up with frozen waste, discarded oxygen cylinders, and empty instant noodle wrappers. Meanwhile, the Nepal Mountaineering Association (NMA) and countless NGOs are busy holding "seminars" in five-star hotels in Kathmandu. What do they actually do for the climbers? Nobody knows!
The DDC has been around for more than half a century, established back when the OG visionary leaders decided our dairy sector needed to be properly organized. Unfortunately, the corporation spent the last three decades drowning in a financial hole due to rampant corruption, political interference, and the strategic recruitment of total jackass jholeys.
Meanwhile, our Supreme Court currently holds the gold medal for most inefficient multitasking. They seem to have infinite energy to hear every single emergency writ and petition to save politically affiliated unions, yet they have absolutely zero bandwidth to tackle the mountain of 20,000+ actual, real cases currently rotting in bureaucratic limbo.
Today, let’s talk about our great educational consultancies. While manpower companies extort a few lakhs from our folks when the actual cost is a meager 10,000 with free visas and tickets, our so-called education wallahs seem to extort far more from students dreaming of going abroad.
Let us also pray we don't read about the infamous Everest rescue scams again. To deal with these scammers who ruin our national reputation, standard jail time isn’t enough. They should be forced to listen to Bon Jovi for 48 hours straight, with their faces plastered on billboards at Everest Base Camp.
The "Jumbo Ministry Club" is finally hitting the treadmill. Balen is slashing the cabinet down to a lean 18. This is a disaster for the professional jholeys (bag-carriers) who usually thrive on feeding off taxpayers’ money like parasites. No more free lunches for the ministers’ personal assistants, their third cousins, or the "contractor-kaji" cadres. In this "new-new" Nepal, if you aren't providing value, you aren't getting a paycheck.