Chiya Guff

The Great Siraha Aquatics

Proving once and for all that if you can’t fix a problem, you might as well drown it in a bucket.

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S. Gundai

7 June 2026 3 min read 152 views

The Great Siraha Aquatics

Our local media maestros recently broke the news from Siraha, where the police decided that the most effective, sophisticated way to handle exam security was to turn a collection of smartphones worth over one crore into very expensive, very soggy paperweights. 

Apparently, catching students with phones during the SEE and Class 12 exams triggered a creative outburst among the authorities. Forget common sense or basic security protocols; these geniuses decided the only logical punishment was a public drowning ceremony. It’s truly heartwarming to know our tax-funded personnel have the free time to moonlight as amateur underwater demolition experts.

The Logic of the Damp and Defenseless

One has to wonder who sat in a room, sipped their tea, and decided, "You know what? Water. Water is the solution." Why bother with lockers, basic physical searches at the entrance, or just holding the phones until the exams were over? If a student is caught cheating, there are actual procedures for that—like withholding an answer sheet. But no, why follow the rulebook when you can play executioner? It’s a masterclass in failure: the guards let the phones into the hall, and then the authorities punish the owners by destroying the gear. It’s like arresting someone for speeding and then crushing their car into a cube just to be safe.

The CDO’s "Social Disruption" Theory

CDO Surendra Paudel is the real star here. He claimed that auctioning the phones might lead to "social disruption." Yes, because a second-hand phone appearing in the wild is clearly a threat to national stability. He smugly insists that his committee followed all "proper channels" to ensure 489 Androids and 7 iPhones suffered a watery death. One has to assume the CDO is just frustrated. Maybe he misses the days when his office was busy with shady land deals and "chiya kharcha" negotiations, and now that he has to do actual work, he’s taking it out on innocent electronics.

A Prelude to Future Demolitions

If we let this slide, the precedent is terrifying. Today, it’s mobile phones in a tub. Tomorrow, Siraha will surely start demolishing motorcycles for speeding. Why issue a fine when you can just turn a bike into scrap metal to satisfy a bureaucrat’s fragile ego? The local authorities seem hell-bent on destroying your personal property just to feel powerful. It’s not about maintaining exam integrity; it’s about performative authoritarianism.

The Day of Reckoning

The parents need to organize and tell the CDO to turn off his phone, too—though he’d probably throw it in a pond just to stay consistent. These "sarkari hakims" must face the music. Let them be dragged into court and explain to a judge why they thought they were above the law. Let’s hope our justices realize that being an official doesn't grant you the right to act like a toddler with a grudge against technology.

Jai Nepal!

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S. Gundai

Chief Chiya-Raksi Critic

S. Gundai spends his mornings complaining about the dust over tea and his evenings solving the country’s problems over local raksi, though he usually forgets the solutions by breakfast.