The Great New-Era Checklist

Welcome to the definitive guide to Nepal’s 2026 "Extreme Makeover," where we’ve traded the ancient art of "Samosa-based governance" for something suspiciously resembling actual efficiency.

For decades, the "Old Guard" treated the national budget like a personal piggy bank and the Constitution like a suggestion box, but apparently, someone finally found the "off" switch on the corruption machine.

From slashing the cabinet size—because turns out you don't actually need 51 people to decide absolutely nothing—to proving that "political rats" are the only ones sad about upgraded CCTV, this checklist is a sarcastic salute to the era where doing your job is the new national scandal.

It’s a brave new world where licenses take days instead of decades and leaders sit in the same traffic jams they helped create, leaving the old guard wondering if they can even afford their Singapore lifestyles without a daily scam to fund the flight

1. Mini-Ministers: We’re running on 15 ministers now, proving the old limit of 51 was just a very expensive way to ensure everyone had a nice chair and a taxpayer-funded lunch.

2. Speedy Summits: Cabinet meetings happen in days now, because apparently "waiting months" was the old party strategy for hoping problems would just get bored and go away.

3. The Baluwatar Breakup: Turns out the country survives even if the PM leaves the house; the "Old Ones" just used Baluwatar as a luxury bunker to avoid seeing the actual state of the roads.

4. Cheap Chat: We’re holding meetings without million-rupee snack budgets, which must be heartbreaking for the caterers who used to fund their retirements off government samosas.

5. Ribbon-Cutting Rehab: The PM stopped obsessively cutting ribbons at every local bakery opening, and miraculously, the laws of physics remained intact.

6. The 15-Hour Shift: The PM is actually working 15 hours a day at Singha Durbar, a shocking concept for the old guard who thought the office was just a place to store their coats.

7. Middleman Meltdown: Since the PM stopped hosting "Baluwatar Happy Hour" for middlemen, the lobbyists have had to find actual hobbies.

8. Landless Logic: We’re finally simplifying the "Sukumbasi" issue, proving it wasn't actually an ancient mystery, just a political ATM for the old parties.

9. Midnight Meetings: Late-night secret rendezvous with foreigners are out; apparently, the old leaders thought national policy was best decided during the "witching hour."

10. Union Goons: We’ve stopped turning civil servants into political thugs, mostly because "providing service" is a much better job description than "harrassing the public."

11. The Facebook Flip: Balen built a Data Center instead of a ban, because the old guard’s "Delete Facebook" strategy was basically a digital temper tantrum.

12. Z-Level Protests: The old parties demanded bribes from tech giants and got Gen-Z in the streets, proving they really didn't understand how much kids love their apps.

13. Employee Evolution: Civil servants are suddenly efficient, proving their hands weren't tied by fate, just by the old leaders' red tape.

14. Scam Souvenirs: We’ve stopped the tradition of collecting scandals like Pokemon—no more Giribandhu, Lalita Niwas, or Bhutanese Refugee "limited editions."

15. Rodent Sabotage: We’ve upgraded our security so "political rats" can no longer conveniently chew through CCTV wires during a heist.

16. Scandal Diet: The country is running without daily scams, which must be very confusing for the "Old Guard" who thought corruption was a food group.

17. Singapore Slings: Five-time PMs are fleeing to Singapore the moment they lose power; apparently, the local air is only breathable when you’re in office.

18. Medical Tourism: The old leaders' "overseas only" healthcare policy is over; turns out they didn't trust the local hospitals they spent 30 years building.

19. The 70-Crore Snake: Still looking for that 70-crore snake project—maybe it slithered away with the rest of the embezzled funds?

20. Plate Pressure: We’ve stopped forcing useless embossed plates on people just to make a few "friends" very wealthy.

21. Digital Identity: We finally linked IDs to citizenship, a "technology" the old parties treated like it was alien magic.

22. The "Ism" Intervention: We traded long lectures on Marxism and Maoism for actual results, and nobody missed the 4-hour speeches.

23. License to Thrill: Getting a driver's license in 4 days instead of 4 years—because the old guard thought "patience" was a mandatory driving skill.

24. Bribe-Free Living: Doing work without bribes feels so strange that some people are still looking for a hidden camera.

25. Vehicle Repo: Balen took back 701 government cars, finally ending the "Free Luxury SUV for Every Crony" program.

26. PA Purge: Cutting out the "bag-carriers" means the government is finally carrying its own weight.

27. Result Rush: Publishing SEE results in a month instead of six—turns out the old parties weren't "careful," they were just slow.

28. Line-Free Life: 15 minutes at the office instead of all day; the old parties must have thought "waiting in line" was a national sport.

29. Cooperative Justice: We’re actually making scammers return the money, which is a terrifying new concept for professional looters.

30. Merit over Money: Appointing people based on talent instead of their dad’s political connections—what a wild, experimental idea.

31. Setting the Reset: We broke the "10-year judicial setting," proving that justice shouldn't be pre-ordered like a pizza.

32. Customs Clean-up: Fixing prices at customs to stop hundi—the old parties are going to miss those "under the table" bonuses.

33. Thug Takedown: Arresting big-league scammers in insurance and stock markets is finally making "white-collar crime" a risky career choice.

34. Traffic Equality: Removing pilot cars means leaders finally get to enjoy the same traffic jams they helped create.

35. Migrant Mercy: Protecting overseas workers from fraud, because the old guard treated them more like "remittance machines" than humans.

36. Hospital Fairness: 10% free beds for the poor without needing a "VIP" phone call—actual social justice, not just a slogan.

37. Corruption Committee: A powerful committee to investigate the corrupt—the old leaders' worst nightmare has finally arrived in 4K.

38. Bus Cam: Mandatory CCTVs in public transport, making it much harder for the "old ways" to hide in the shadows.

39. People-Centricity: We’re making decisions to win hearts instead of pockets, and the old parties simply can’t compute.

Conclusion: The old parties spent years treating the national budget like a personal piggy bank, and they’re honestly shocked we found the "off" switch.

source: Ram Prasad Adhikari and Ganesh Kharel (Nepali version)