Four years since its explosive debut, the Rastriya Swatantra Party (RSP) has finally graduated from being a glorified fan club for Rabi Lamichhane into an entity with actual institutional legitimacy. Gone are the days of winging it; now, they have elected officials to blame when things inevitably hit the fan. The party faces a mountain of challenges—ranging from policy-making to resisting the urge to self-destruct—but with Rabi’s relentless energy and the collective delusion that we might actually be on an expressway to progress, the RSP remains the only show in town that hasn't completely turned into a dumpster fire yet.
The Predators are Circling
Naturally, the political dinosaurs and their loyal jholeys (political lapdogs) are salivating, praying for the RSP to splinter into a dozen warring factions. They crave the chaos of a mili-juli coalition where they can continue their age-old tradition of bartering ministerial seats for personal gains. Meanwhile, the mainstream media “extortionists” are desperately digging for a juicy scandal to sink the RSP ship. Let’s be honest: those who have spent two decades feasting on the national carcass know that a functional RSP is the death knell for their business model. If this party actually succeeds, the era of tax evasion, commission-based policymaking, and land-grabbing will officially hit a "No Free Lunch" zone.
Convention Calamities
The General Convention has finally wrapped up after an agonizing six-day stretch for a three-day event. While the jholeys are having a field day mocking the logistical nightmare of delegate disputes and electronic voting meltdowns, we should perhaps show a sliver of mercy. It was their first rodeo. Managing thousands of ego-driven delegates is like herding cats in a monsoon. Hopefully, by the next convention, they’ll have figured out that "logistics" isn't just a word you find in a dictionary.
The Coronation of the Cabinet
Rabi has been re-elected unopposed as Chairperson, while the clever Dr. Swarnim Wagle and Sobita Gautam have secured the Vice-Chair spots. The list of elected officials goes on—Bipin Acharya as General Secretary, and various others in the Joint-General ranks. However, the Chairperson still has the power to nominate a laundry list of positions, from Treasurers to Spokespeople. Let’s be real: this "nomination" power is the classic Trojan horse of Nepali politics. If the RSP wants to be truly transformative, they need to stop letting the Chair handpick his inner circle and let the chips fall where they may in a real election.
A Modest Proposal for Future Jamborees
Lastly, can we please move the next convention to the winter? Holding a political convention during a humid, sweltering Chitwan monsoon is a form of psychological warfare. If you’re going to force three thousand delegates to sit through hours of speeches, at least give them a safari trip, a few rounds of Bingo, and some decent refreshments. If we’re going to be governed, we might as well be entertained. Here is to hoping the RSP can balance its newfound institutional maturity with a bit more competence—and a lot more air conditioning.
Jai Nepal!