The RSP Chief recently rolled out the red carpet, inviting the country’s so-called "head honchos" to a meeting. The goal? To discuss national issues and maybe, just maybe, figure out how to stop the Parliament from being a glorified daycare center for overgrown toddlers. The RPP showed up, the Nepali Congress sent their law-making foot soldiers, and the NCP brought MaKuNe—a man who loves North Korean aesthetics almost as much as he loves his own voice.
But the VIP list was missing the true titans of our tragedy: Prachanda was M.I.A., Oli was busy doing whatever dictators do in their spare time, and our beloved "Mutton Kazi," Gagan Thapa, decided he had better things to do.
Harka and the Magic Raksi
Meanwhile, the Mato party chose to boycott the entire affair. Harka, our favorite local firebrand, was far too busy engaging in his daily ritual of screaming into the void of Facebook and Twitter. One has to wonder: is it the magic mushrooms, the local raksi, or does he genuinely believe his seven-seater van is the ultimate vehicle for national governance? Math clearly isn't his strong suit, and neither is the concept of a national platform. If he thinks his Dharan-centric charisma is enough to lead a nation, he’s in for a rude awakening.
The Old Guard’s Last Gasp
Then there’s Gagan Thapa, who missed his chance at greatness about two decades ago. Between his "Health Minister" baggage and those persistent rumors of association with the seedier elements of Kavre, the scent of the old Congressi corruption clings to him like cheap cologne. As for Prachanda, the man who once dreamt of being the Nepali Stalin, he now just looks like a tired extra in a bad political drama. He knows his time is running out. When the commission finally starts digging into the last twenty years of "illegal wealth," his token number is going to come up faster than a fast-food order.
The GOAT vs. The Grim Reaper
And then, there is Oli. His jholeys call him "Pele"—a comparison that would make the actual football legend turn in his grave. Pele won World Cups; Oli has won… notoriety. He still carries the weight of history and some very dark stains on his hands, yet he walks around with the unrepentant ego of a man who hasn't realized his time in the spotlight is flickering. Ever since his kidneys were "dismantled" by the reality of the recent elections, he’s been a cocktail of bitterness and dictatorial delusion.
A Flickering Candle of Hope
Perhaps it is time for the final fusion: The Nepal Communist & Socialist Party (NCSP). It would finally unite all the old-school looting chors under one banner. While the RPP tears itself apart and Harka’s party looks like it’s one argument away from a total implosion, we are left staring at the RSP.
They have five years to prove they aren't just another flavor of the same bitter medicine. We hold onto the hope that Rabi can keep his house in order, shielding his party from the inevitable influx of opportunists fleeing the sinking ships of the old guard. Until then, we watch, we wait, and we keep our expectations buried deep in the ground.
Jai Nepal!