Welcome to the grand theater of Nepali politics, where our old-school media houses have suddenly discovered a "conscience." It’s truly heartwarming. After decades of ignoring the stench of the Bagmati, they are now churning out hundreds of reports a day about the "plight" of squatters in holding centers.
Suddenly, every pattukaar (journalist) is a humanitarian. They show us leaky tents and hungry babies with the dramatic flair of a Kollywood climax. Yes, we should help with diapers and food—just send the QR code! But a word of advice: don’t use that money to go to a Dohori Sanjh for wine and dine, as is the tradition among our elite media circle. Were these folks really better off living in shacks over a sewage canal? The media won't ask that, because the truth doesn't sell as many clicks as a well-timed tear-jerker.
From 'Sukumbaasi' to 'Hukumbaasi'
Let’s be real: we absolutely need to provide for the genuine landless. But in this country, "squatter" is often just a code word for "UML cadre with a side hustle." When chor netas like Bishnu Poudel and the various Pokharels managed to grab land under the guise of being landless thirty years ago, only to sell it for a massive profit, the system didn't just break—it was hijacked.
It seems the primary qualification for being a Communist leader in Nepal is successfully acquiring public land as a sukumbaasi. While the poor struggle, these "comrades" have built four-story villas on the riverbanks. Even a former Maoist Minister saw his permanent bungalow get the bulldozer treatment recently. He probably thought the mili-juli (coalition) government would keep his secrets buried under the silt. Surprise! The RSP is in town, and they brought the heavy machinery.
The Mafia of the Mud
Don’t be fooled by the "spontaneous" nature of these settlements. Since 2006, 90% of these illegal colonies were carefully engineered by the triple-headed monster of Congress, UML, and the Maoists. This isn't a neighborhood; it’s a Mafia Raj.
Party jholeys (henchmen) built tin-roofed shacks on public land and rented them out to the truly desperate for a few thousand rupees less than a legal room. It’s a brilliant business model: no taxes, no land ownership, just pure profit from the poor. These "illegal Mayors" of the slums ran a parallel government. They had no sanitation or water, yet somehow, through bribes to the NEA and political "networks," the lights were always on.
The Fast, the Furious, and the Frustrated
Now that Balen and the local authorities are finally doing their jobs, the old guard is shrieking. Even Harka Sampang has joined the chorus of whiners. Someone needs to nudge Harka and remind him he was doing the exact same thing in Dharan. He wants to be "Oli 2.0," but he’s forgotten that undoing thirty years of corruption requires acting "Fast and Furious," not just being "Curious."
The previous governments couldn’t even rescue people from the Nakkhu River during a flood, yet they have the audacity to call the current crackdown a "sin." The real sin was allowing the land mafia and rich byaparis to eat the country's lungs for three decades. The era of the Hukumbaasi is over. It’s time to take back the land—not just from the riverbanks, but from every shady organization and tax-evading media mogul who thinks they are above the law. Under the roar of the bulldozer, the old "mili-juli" era is finally being leveled.
Jai Nepal!