Let us pause and offer a slow, sarcastic clap to our old-school media wallahs. After a blissful, thirty-year nap during which the country was quietly bled dry, they have suddenly awakened with the fury of a thousand suns! Suddenly, every breath the new government takes is scrutinized to the moon and back.
Where was this investigative passion when the old-guard netas were treating the national treasury like their personal piggy bank? If these media vultures had actually done their jobs for the past three decades instead of hunting for chiya kharcha (tea money) from corrupt politicians, we might actually have a functioning country today. But hey, better late than never, right?
The 100-Day Expiry Date on a Three-Decade Mess
It turns out that fixing thirty years of institutionalized looting is supposed to take exactly one weekend. The media has already branded this 100-day-old government a total failure because, apparently, Kathmandu wasn't transformed into Switzerland overnight. When the government tries to implement meritocracy and end the "loot system," the media throws a tantrum. And let’s not forget the Supreme Court, which deserves a gold medal in gymnastics for bending over backward to block initiatives meant to punish the vultures of the past two decades. It is almost poetic: the system is working perfectly, but only to protect the corrupt.
Freedom of Speech (Or Just Freedom to Evade Taxes?)
The bravery of our patrakars is truly awe-inspiring. A few cars park outside a media house, and suddenly it’s the apocalypse for the free press! When the government decided to stop feeding private media sahujis with taxpayer-funded advertisements, the media rushed to the courts crying foul—and of course, the courts sided with the billionaires. Apparently, "freedom of the press" in Nepal translates directly to the freedom of media moguls to evade taxes, run extortion rackets, and publish fake news without ever being held accountable.
The Holy Land of Illegal Vote Banks
When this government clears illegal structures along the Bagmati river, the media and the opposition weeping loop begins: “Anti-poor! Anti-landless!” How convenient. When the Congress-UML-Maoist (CUM) coalition allowed their precious vote banks to colonize government land for decades, the media maintained a holy, meditative silence. The tragedy of citizens taking their own lives due to financial stress is pinned on the new administration, while the media conveniently forgets the decades-long loot system that enriched only the hakims, netas, and jholeys, forcing five million youth to catch the first flight out of Tribhuvan International Airport.
The Audacity of Hope: The Khukuri is Out
Our media wallahs desperately want this government to fail. They long for the good old days of the mili-juli circus because chaos is profitable. They blame Gen Z for burning government buildings and cry "foreign interference" because the old parties lost their majority to the RSP. They cannot comprehend that Nepali voters actually have brains and aren't foreign stooges.
But here is the silver lining, the Ayo Gorkhali spirit: the youth have woken up, the fear is gone, and the old guards are terrified. The media can keep clapping for the ghosts of the past, but the tide has turned. Change is no longer coming; it is already knocking down their heavily subsidized doors.
Jai Nepal!