Our former honorable Madame President Bidya Devi Bhandari Maharani has finally emerged from the velvet curtains of retirement to grace us with her wisdom. And no, she wasn’t talking about that "Iron Man" of comedy, KP Oli, or how the UML transitioned from a political powerhouse into a circus of United Mundrey Leaders.
Instead, our Bidya Didi is losing sleep over the "newbies." She’s terrified that inexperienced lawmakers—led by Prime Minister Balen—are a "danger to democracy." Apparently, in her world, democracy is only safe when it’s being suffocated by the same three guys who have been playing musical chairs with the PM’s seat since the invention of fire. She thinks national unity is under threat because the people decided to stop voting for slogans and started voting for results.
The "Newbie" Hypocrisy
Well, Didi needs a reality check delivered by a high-speed drone. When she first won her election following the tragic passing of Comrade Madan Bhandari, she was the definition of a "newbie." We don’t need to hear the recycled garbage from old party jholeys bragging about how they were "politically active" at age thirteen while failing math in a government school. She was green, she was elected, she became a minister, and eventually, she became the first woman President of the Republic of Nepal. If she could learn on the job, why can't a 35-year-old structural engineer with a 2026 TIME 100 trophy on his desk?
The Pensioner’s Power Trip
Let’s talk about the perks. Didi lives a life of subsidized luxury: Lakhs in pension, house rent covered by our taxes, a small army of guards, and the eternal title of "Guardian of the Nation." When you’ve already reached the peak as the Commander-in-Chief, why on earth do you want to crawl back into the mud of active politics? It’s like a retired General wanting to go back to being a traffic cop just so he can blow the whistle at people.
She must have spent her nights dreaming of bagging the PM’s seat after finally ousting the "Ba" of Balkhu, but that ship hasn't just sailed—it’s been dismantled and sold for scrap by the Gen-Z voters. If Balen and the RSP crew keep their momentum, Didi won’t be getting any more invitations to move back into Baluwatar. Even the "youth icons" of the old guard—Gagan Thapa, Yogesh Bhattarai, or Ram Kumari Jhakri—are finding that their political expiration dates have passed.
Democracy vs. The Soap Opera
Didi thinks the "newbies" are a danger. Let’s correct the record: being elected by a massive popular mandate is the literal definition of Democracy. Dictatorship is when you stay in power despite the people wanting you gone. Balen had every chance to seize the narrative during the 2025 Gen-Z Massacre, but he didn't take a shortcut. He waited, he organized, and he fought an election against the very men who watched with cold indifference as kids were shot in the streets.
The RSP winning the Nepal Election League (NEL) is a danger only to the "Mili-Juli" (collusion) system. The RPP barely survived because Gyanendra Shahi carried Jumla on his back; without him, they’d be a footnote. We would much rather watch the RSP and the Mato guys battle it out for the next fifty years than spend one more day watching "old fogies" loot the treasury like it’s a buffet.
The National Chemo Begins
Didi is worried about governance. Right Said Fred! She wasn't worried when her "Big Three" parties were treating the civil service like their private ATM. Now she’s worried because there’s transparency, accountability, and—god forbid—people are actually showing up to work at 8:30 AM.
It’s time for the NC, UML, and Maoist veterans to take a long, permanent holiday. Go to Kashi, since all you "Socialists" have suddenly become so religious, or take your ill-gotten wealth to the Bahamas. You fought the Ranas and the Kings, but you ended up fighting the very people you were supposed to protect. Five million youth are abroad because you lot treated the country like a personal fiefdom.
The Messi of the Mountains
Pele won the World Cup, then came Maradona, then Messi. The game evolves. KP Oli is not the Pele of Nepali politics—he’s just a player who refuses to leave the pitch even though he’s forgotten where the goal is. The "National Chemo" has begun, Didi. The corruption cells are being burned out, and no amount of "political serial" drama will stop the recovery.
The Bottom Line: The "Old Guard" is terrified because their political remote control has finally run out of batteries. We don't need a "Guardian of the Nation" who only wakes up when her party’s loot-bag is threatened; we need a government that works for the people, not one that belongs in a black-and-white rerun. The soap opera is over, Didi—it’s time to change the channel.
Jai Nepal!
image credit: The President's Office